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20140107 Resolutions

New year’s resolutions you can actually achieve:

  • Don’t try to be a hero, just pick one book and read it
  • Once, just once, go to bead at 9am. Do it on a Tuesday!
  • Grow a beard if you can. If you can’t, work on containing your jealousy
  • Plan something interesting six months in advance. That way, if the next six monte suck, you’ll have something to look forward to.
  • Want to save some money? Stop buying that gym membership you’re never going to use. Buy a jump rope
  • Park in the farthest parking spot and drink water. If you lose weight, great! If not, then at least you’ll have less dings on your door panel.
  • Throw out your socks or underwear, ideally both, and get all new ones. This will change your life
  • Lastly, get a cat and try to emulate its behaviour. You’ll reduce your stress and improve hygiene.